Pain, physical pain coursing through my veins through my arms my legs my chest stomach, head. My forehead feels like a hole has opened there. Physical pain but it’s emotion all emotion; the pain of knowing that like this pain I am worthless and if I can’t get past it I will remain worthless I have done so many wrong things in this life and I keep making mistakes the same mistakes and I watch myself make them and nod and flinch as I sew up the shroud upon my own skin sewing with the looks in others’ eyes telling me I am a stranger I don’t belong I am incurably alien.

I sew, put that needle through my skin. The pain tells me I am here I am here and maybe tomorrow maybe someday I will find a way to live.

Steppenwolf.