A personal journey.

  • Love Letter

    Writing is the one thing that always helps me process the experiences life brings. Writing has also been fraught most of my life for various reasons (a story which is out of the scope of today’s missive), but letters have been a staple for me, nonthreatening. Nothing comes up as a barrier to writing letters,…

  • I Choose Water.

    Most every day, since the fall of 2019 (northern hemisphere), when I took Reiki and learned the symbols, I have been blessing my drinking water. I pour it into my water bottle, draw the symbols on it, then hold it in both hands and repeat my mantra three times: “I love you. God bless you.…

  • Vince Lombardi Truckstop

    Sitting here now, on a Sunday morning in February, the last day of the 2022 Winter Olympics, I’m still trying to tell the story of how I came to be at the Cultural Education Center, the building that houses the New York State Library, the New York State Museum, and the New York State Archives,…

  • 1/16/12 Martin Luther King Jr’s Birthday (Observed)

    I have been listening again to don Miguel Ruiz’s Voice of Knowledge and thinking about my life creation. For many years I have listened to this periodically, but since June I have listened to it many times, and each time I hear it as if for the first time. I am working toward believing in…

  • October 10, 2003

    Pain, physical pain coursing through my veins through my arms my legs my chest stomach, head. My forehead feels like a hole has opened there. Physical pain but it’s emotion all emotion; the pain of knowing that like this pain I am worthless and if I can’t get past it I will remain worthless I…

  • Summer Solstice

    Bless you who are in the dark–may you find light in everyday things. This blessing is a product of great pain. It was only through accepting my pain–the fact of it–instead of struggling against it that I began to find comfort in the everyday. The plain, homely events and interactions that are the true bread…

  • The Parade of Ants

    February 13, 2008 The parade of ants….Each of us the Indra of her or his own life, and if we succeed in slaying the dragon that hoards the water of life (society and its demands upon the individual to accept its version of life as the only one), we become all powerful–the creators of our…

  • Dream. July 18,1998

    I am living in an old. . . castle. Trying to get it to grow again. My main problem is a plot of land over on the (left corner) of the property. It is barren. My ex-husband comes to see me. Somehow I know if I don’t get that land to grow I will lose…

  • Memory

    Footsteps on the hot sidewalk echo; Past fades into present. Music~his Ozzy, my Randy~ Reverberates through flesh and bone And my body gives up an image I can rarely conjure… His whole face, smiling. Another July, When freedom rang because we took it in our hands, Wresting it from the moment and running Over the…

  • January 1984

    All my writing in the garbage can, Deodorant from my friend’s mother, Christmas gifts from strangers. Packing to leave the psych ward For a mental hospital in Westchester Where, they’ll say, an old woman, Heir to Gilded Age money, Spends her last days. I imagine she has a whole floor to herself, Muffled and dark…

  • Mote and Beam II

    It doesn’t matter what others think of you–it matters what you think of others. It doesn’t matter what others think of you–it matters what you think of yourself. This is the crux of the admonition: “Judge not that ye be not judged.”

  • Infatuation and Love

    I just want to listen to that song again So I won’t forget how it feels Not like every day isn’t alive But I forgot Not like every day I don’t see beauty But I forgot how beautiful it all is ∞         ∞         ∞ I have a theory about…